You're adorable...

Even when you're sulking you're cute ;o;

Lacey.

 My Best Friend: 

Today I want to talk about dogs. Well really I could talk about issues I am angry and upset about but I don't want to publicize all my problems, so I will vent through this dog conversation.

         I'm sure everyone gets asked at least once in their life, "Who is your best friend?" Well, most people spit out a name or two which I could also easily do. But if I really think about it the definition of a "best friend," none of those names other than my mother would accurately fit the description. Now do not mistake this as some rude remark towards the people I call my best friends. They are great, amazing people, but they're not perfect and we've all made mistakes obviously, but some days I just feel like they fail me. Anyways, back to the main point. Ask me to give you a name of my best friend. Lacey. Who is Lacey? Lacey is my beyond adorable dachshund mix dog. She just turned 9 in November and she's just like a puppy. See since the very moment Lacey was given to me, she has loved me. It took about two seconds for her to sniff me and she knew from that point forward that I was trustworthy. Since day one Lacey has given me more love and friendship than any human in my life. All I had to do was take care of her basic needs, pet her, and throw her a toy occasionally and she returned those gestures with endless love. Every single day for nine years, that adorable dog has woken up next to me, whimpered when I left for school/etc, and wagged her tail excessively when I returned home. When I'm upset, sick, or crying, she comes up to me and it's like she knows exactly what to do to make me feel better. Lacey is loyal. She wouldn't be upset if I forgot her birthday or didn't buy her a Christmas present. Lacey wouldn't be angry if I was having a bad day and didn't want to go out with her. Lacey has never broken a promise or abandoned me. Lacey has never said or done an intentional hurtful thing to me. Maybe it's a bigger problem of me having bad people who have hurt me in the past and an array of trust issues, I'm sure a psychologist would have fun diagnosing me, but overall I have just found how much easier life is with a dog like Lacey in it. I'm not saying I've completely shut my human connections off, I still have many good friends that I can turn to when needed. But overall, Lacey with her cute little paws and cold, wet nose is the winner. Lacey has never said a single word in her 9 plus years of life yet she's touched my heart and my life in a way no human ever has. Lacey is truly and completely my best friend.

<3

The Struggle-Danielle

So this blog is more about getting my feelings out there than talking directly to you, Joel.

I have this endless struggle of being overweight. I've never seen myself as drop-dead gorgeous or even very attractive. I find myself to be average and that's okay. I've always been okay with being average. I can put on makeup, straighten my hair, and put on an overpriced Victoria Secret push up bra, but honestly that's not who Danielle really is. I've accepted that Danielle is average in the looks category. I'm above average at school and that's a great compensation in my opinion. But see there's a problem because my boyfriend, aka Joel, is above average. He won't ever admit it but he has really blossomed into an attractive young gentleman. I have so many friends who comment on his good looks and I know they're probably thinking "Why in the world would some swimmer/good looking guy from Chicago want anything to do with this ugly cow?" And honestly, I know he loves me and all, but I really don't know. He could probably have his pick of girls in high school or college, but he doesn't. I secretly think it's Stockholm Syndrome but he also denies that... Overall, it is a struggle for me to deal with this. I think it's mainly the weight issues that cause all of this to be a problem. I'm losing weight for my health, of course, but I'm also losing it for him. I want to make him proud to be my boyfriend. I want him to turn to his guy friends and be like "yeah that's my super hot girlfriend over there, be jealous." Of course he would never tell me to lose weight because he knows that'll quickly get him in trouble...but I'm still doing it partly for him. I just felt like getting that out there because he and I were talking about it earlier today, take it as you will.

On the hotness scale: 
Joel: 10
Danielle: 5.5

I close with saying this: Ultimately, I'm so thankful for his complete acceptance of me. He has never looked down on me or judged me and that means the world to me. Even though he says I don't need to change, he'll enjoy it when I'm skinny and super sexy. Wink wink.
 Joel: Don't feel bad about any of this, it's just something I'm getting out, not some big crisis. I love you.

-Danielle <3